New Years; A resolution for Marriage

Welcome to 2024! Whether you love them or hate them, New Year's resolutions often serve as a starting point for personal growth. Today, I'd like to invite you to consider adding a resolution that can significantly support your marriage—a ritual of connection.

A ritual of connection is a researched-based technique from the Gottman Method, a well-established couples therapy approach proven to enhance relationships. This intentional practice involves setting aside specific, regular times to check in with your partner. It doesn't need to be lengthy, but consistency is key.

Examples of such rituals include waking up ten minutes earlier for a morning chat in bed, sharing morning coffee, staying up an extra 10 minutes before bedtime, or even calling each other during lunch breaks for a brief connection. The goal is to make it routine.

Now, what do you talk about during these check-ins? Instead of a casual "How are you doing today?" try a more intentional approach like "What are three things on your mind today?" or "Is there anything happening this week that I should be aware of?" The aim is to delve deeper into your partner's emotional state and foster understanding. While some days might involve brief exchanges, the overall objective is to create space for more profound connection and vulnerability.

Why go through this effort? As a couples therapist, I often encounter couples feeling disconnected and withdrawn from each other. Daily life and work responsibilities can take a toll on relationships. However, introducing a small ritual of connection can be a game-changer, gradually bringing couples closer. Starting with once a week or daily, finding a common, non-negotiable time for each partner is the initial step. It's about setting aside time to prioritize your relationship, and even the smallest efforts can make a significant impact over time.

So, as we enter this new year, consider adopting this resolution as a proactive step toward building a stronger, more resilient marriage. Begin with small, consistent efforts, and watch how a ritual of connection transforms your relationship over time.