ERP in Everyday life!

As an ERP therapist, I observe others' reactions when I mention the term "exposure." Some people display facial expressions that convey fear, distrust, or even the belief that it might be cruel. And, yes, I understand. I can see why you might think that listening to people's fears and then exposing them to those fears could evoke mixed emotions. However, I wanted to take a moment to explain what this process can look like on a daily basis and perhaps invite you to connect with and feel inspired by it.

Research indicates that ERP is particularly beneficial for OCD, specific phobias, and anxiety. However, what I have discovered is that it can be quite applicable in daily life, even for the smallest instances of fear or discomfort. Let me share a story that illustrates its use.

Lake

My son tends to be a bit anxious, and it often manifests in various small ways in our lives. On one occasion, we were at a lake house with friends and family. That day, many of the kids were taking turns with an adult for jet ski rides. It seemed fun! I noticed my son wanted to join but was showing signs of anxiety. He would express his desire to ride but then back away or say, "but I am too scared." Many parents responded with phrases like: "Come on! Everyone else is doing it!"

"You'll have so much fun."

"Buddy, just do it."

Someone even remarked, "why is he such a wimp?"

These approaches don't work for my son and generally aren't effective with anxiety. So, as an ERP therapist, I stepped in.

Me: "I see you're moving around a lot, feeling a bit restless in your body." "I think you're having difficulty deciding what to do, am I right?"

Him: "Yeah! I am not doing that!"

Me: "Okay, well, if you change your mind, I'd love to help you through it."

(Insert long pause)

Him: "What if it runs out of gas?"

Me: "You're right, it needs gas to go. If it runs out, we have a few other ways to get you on these boats."

Him: "What if he goes too fast?"

Me: "Yeah, he might."

Him: "What if I fall off?"

Me: "Let me show you what happens when you fall in the water with a life jacket on. I'll do it here right next to the ladder."

(Insert me dunking my child into the water with a life jacket 2-3 times) With consent!

Me: "Okay, now that that's clear, do you want to just sit on the jet ski with the motor off?"

(Insert my child sitting on the jet ski)

Me: "Wow, you've done so much. Would you like to go for a short ride near the dock?"

(Insert my kid taking a small joy ride)

This is ERP! I broke it down and took it step by step. Note, I never said, "you will be fine," but I demonstrated through these mini exercises. He learned on his own and chose his steps. In full disclosure, he didn't ride it again that weekend, and I'm not sure if he will want to next time. But we overcame fear that day and had a small victory in managing anxiety.

I hope this helps you understand what it can look like to parent anxious children or begin ERP therapy.

We got this!